Retribution - Movie Review &to me

yeah see this is why it's smart to

upload reviews of movies the week they

come out had I done that I'd have a

review for Gran Turismo for you this

week as it stands I'm like

in the words of Barry Burton from the

original Resident Evil what is this

we'll see if the YouTube algorithm gods

are pleased with this sacrifice of my

sanity

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so retro it's called retribution right

good news it is in fact retribution it's

a film in which

it's a film starring Liam Neeson in

which he gets in the car he's driving

his kids to school and then some bomber

calls a cell phone that's in his car and

he's like

and yeah he has to drive around do these

tasks for this bomber uh if he gets out

of the car there's a pressure plate the

bomb will blow up who doesn't do what he

says the bomb will blow up it's pretty

much the movie phone booth on wheels or

more claustrophobic version of speed

though it doesn't matter if it goes

above or below 50 that's not the reason

the bomb might blow up so I guess it's

just called speed limit you can already

tell I'm bitter and grumpy about this

movie so I'm not even going to save face

let's just do it Traditions are

Traditions I don't even know when this

became a tradition

but it is to me is it me or do my

thoughts get more concise the more I

drink Scotch on camera if not well give

me this one delusion all right first of

all Liam Neeson's weirdly cast in this

movie you see Liam Neeson like okay he's

gonna get on the phone with the guys be

like I have a particular set of skills

no it just feels like he's like

they haven't told me if I'm in Obi-Wan

season two yet I need this job but he

plays a Wall Street dad and early on

you're supposed to get the feeling this

guy's a [ __ ] artist and someone

who's causing all these problems in his

life is really pissed at him and he

might have skeletons in the closet more

of a trickle that you're supposed to

experience because you already get the

vibe from this guy that's why Colin

Farrell and phone booth was perfect you

know this guy's a sleaze bag you know he

has skeletons in the closet pop the

popcorn we wait with baited breath man I

just started right in let's talk about

the positives first positives are

sometimes

the movie reminded me of another movie

that it pulled from that did it better

in a weird roundabout way thinking of a

better movie while watching a bad movie

can be construed as a positive by your

brain the script in this movie well it

was kind of funny unintentionally so

this dude couple rows behind me it was

an empty theater it was me him I think a

family way up there this dude was just

laughing bless him example there's a

scene where he's trying to get in touch

with his wife people in this office are

giving him the stone wall so he has to

be like I need to talk to my wife the

kids are in danger so the wife gets on

the phone like hey how are the kids

what's wrong he was like you guys are

fine I just had to get you on the phone

we're in a car with a bomb it's an odd

way of saying the kids are fine I feel

like the phrase is either the kids are

fine or they're in a car with a bomb

what's your definition of find their dad

of the year I suppose it's a little

thing but there are so many little

things in here world where Devil's in

the details there's so many moments

where I was like

I it's hard to talk about because a lot

of the [ __ ] in the movie is wrapped

into spoilers I've seen that a lot in

movies you can almost feel the

screenwriters being like but

if we have a lot of the contradictions

and the [ __ ] wrapped into spoilers

and people who review the movie can't

talk about that

boom that's a thing though here I am

Scotch at hand

and I don't give a [ __ ] so I'm going to

talk about it spoiler alert I know we're

kind of breaking protocol but don't care

I'm telling you I've seen the movie it's

not worth caring about what's the over

under Blue Beetle makes more than this

movie this weekend right exactly it

doesn't matter I'm not gonna tell you

everything I'm not gonna tell you the

big scheme the big plan the who the why

you know what you need to know the

movie's not good you should skip it

entirely great all right let's have a

little fun here and talking about some

of the [ __ ] that's kind of wrapped

into spoilers there's a scene where he's

at a dead stop all the police have

surrounded him this is actually the

scene the movie got

far more interesting it is a subject of

much interest when thinking about the

film

as much as I'm going to pre-review after

this review I'm never thinking about the

movie again but when thinking about the

film before I go on camera I'm like yeah

this was the most interesting part of

the movie is when the car stopped moving

and he's talking with the cops and the

cops are like yeah this cop lady is like

I don't believe you he's like there's a

bomb under my seat she's like that's

very quantifiable you is there

still think you're the one doing it sir

who's clearly doing this under duress

and he's like he's been calling me from

this phone she's like that's the phone

he's like yes I don't know why am I late

that's my Liam Neeson voice that's as

good as I get I don't know this is the

phone here take this phone go elsewhere

he might call you on it then you'll know

or you can just triangulate the position

of whatever phone there are a hundred

things you could do with this phone if I

just give it to you I'll stay down here

where there's no cell phone signal and

he can't detonate the bomb the only

thing that can detonate the bomb is if I

get up and I'll wait it's fine so anyhow

after the cops are like yeah you're on a

pressure plate and there's a bomb

attached to that I kind of don't believe

you though why don't you really tell the

truth he hauls ass he takes off the cops

chase him and it feels it's like he just

goes around the corner and the cops are

like

where'd he go I don't know it's

he was right here I

because then he parks and has a 10

minute conversation with the bomber that

just made no sense it's like where are

the cops they were just on your ass you

have a very recognizable car with no

doors at this point why are they not

there right now at a point the car tips

on its side still doesn't blow up the

car in which he's sitting on a pressure

plate is on its side in which he is not

applying the correct amount of pressure

to keep that bomb from going off still

hasn't gone off you ever weigh yourself

on a scale sideways doesn't really work

then he falls in a river the car does

finally blow up and the cop who is

suspecting him the whole time is like

the car blew up and he's safe in the

river in fact that's the fishiest thing

I've seen from this suspect yet I I

should be like that's definitely our guy

but

I think I believe him now not of

approval to end credits that's where the

movie ends definitely what we used to

call mow movie of the week the movie's

just boring it's as simple as that but

if the shoe fits

actually

this is important man you ever hear a

phrase in a totally otherwise terrible

script and just kind of weirdly blows

your mind

it shouldn't but it does there's a line

in this movie where someone says in

Cinderella if the slipper fits so

perfectly then why did it fall off I was

like

I don't know

but having to think about that that's

kind of a rabbit hole back to the point

that got me on that tangent if the shoe

fits and the shoe of Retribution fits to

be dog [ __ ] alright so Barbie have you

seen it what did you think about it just

playing the odds folks who are we

kidding or retribution or any

made-for-tv movie that got a theatrical

release have you seen it what did you

think about it whatever you thought

comment below let me know and as always

if you like what you've seen here and

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Retribution - Movie Review &to me